If you are open to seeing things that may disappoint you but commit to seeing them, acknowledging them, and not reacting to them, then you can see people for what they really are in every single moment of interacting with them.
If that idea makes you cringe, you’re not alone. We are a culture that loves to save face. We are also, more than ever, a culture with online personas. No one wants to wreck someone else’s game, and no one wants their game wrecked. Transparency equals embarrassment.
The reality is that most of the time, if you’re not trying to blind yourself, you can see that people are transparent. You can sniff out a lie, or an act, or an eggzaggeration. You can work a room and know who’s full of shit or know who is truly confident and speaking from the heart. So transparency in fact doesn’t equal embarrassment, it equals proof that we constantly forgive one another.
We don’t realize this most of the time. Yet in most of our interactions with one another, we have an auto subconscious process of sizing the other person up in a large number of ways. Because we are all human, we all have flaws, and yes, others see those flaws. For the most part, people have constant mercy on one another in that we rarely call each other out. At the same time we are constantly worried about how people judge us.
In reality, most of us are not spending our days thinking about and judging other people. It’s likely that the majority of us are thinking more about ourselves, decisions we have to make, things we have to get done, and we worry about what people think of us. We judge one another much less harshly than we judge ourselves.
That’s not to say we don’t judge one another, and sometimes it is done with malicious intent. Normally, that happens in cases where someone is holding a grudge, or if we are obsessing over a person in our life. Not many of us have the time to think about everyone we know and interact with, and judge all of them.
Unfortunately, there are malicious bullies who will play on the flaws of others – and they are also very transparent. Some forms of judgement and persecution are not beneficial to anyone, and negatively affect everyone involved. This is where we have to draw the line.
Our world has become one where we can see a celebrity, or leader, or businessman lie right out in the open, or be openly corrupt and they have fans, supporters and clients. We have settled on the sentiment that we know someone we like is lying but we are a fan so we can overlook it because we justify it by saying everyone lies sometimes. Our standards are at a low point.
Forgiveness is grace, but having low standards is a way of enabling, and enabling is a form of weakness that stems from fear of loss. Because in most cases, when we stop enabling a person we do end up walking away, or they end up walking away. If we let go, they can go, and in some cases they go into their own demise. It can be difficult.
Putting up boundaries at the same time we are forgiving a person is effective in giving us confidence in this balancing act of life. It takes effort and intention to be able to control our own emotions, judgements and reactions to what we consider bad behavior of another person. It also takes effort and willpower to put in place and keep in place a boundaries with other people.
At our best, we realize that we are also transparent and we make a decision to put forth honesty, love and light for the world to see. This creates a reality where the justification that “everybody lies sometimes” becomes less and less and valid.
True freedom is to be fully ourselves in every moment. We are always playing characters on a stage. We interact in playful ways, and in ways that attempt to hide our vulnerabilities. This goes far back into our history, so much that it’s probably a part of our DNA. Yet, in a time where everything is changing, we can’t hold on to old patterns. We must shed dead weight to make swift progress.
We are transparent whether we work from the soul or not. We can choose to keep playing the game or we can choose to just be real and carry on without a care as to what anyone thinks. Being genuine is easy. It actually takes all the pressure off, because it take takes a lot of energy and effort to put on a persona. And if we’re being an actor, we’re constantly reviewing our performance and we cringe at any flaws and vulnerabilities that leaked out. This is the old way.
The new now tells us to tread lightly, be light, be the light. That light burns away the old residues of outdated information. We can move away quickly from old patterns by just being. Without judging ourselves and without worrying about being judged by others.
This biggest challenge in all of this is that our relationships will change. We will connect with people who are moving into the new way at our pace, and we will end up changing many of the current close relationships we’ve had up until this moment. Long time relationships may loosen up while each person goes at a different pace and finds others to connect with there. This is not a bad thing, but it’s a thing that is hard to imagine for fear of grief.
In a situation where the world seems like it is in chaos, we sit in stillness in front of screens and we communicate with each other. We connect. We feel a sense of ease that we’re all going through the same challenges. That’s a huge positive and it’s the very thing that will bring about change in our cultural ideals and communication.
We don’t have to be in the same city or country to lift the vibration and co-create the new now, which includes sustainable living and survival by way of cooperation and sharing. A reality free from the fear of one another. A reality where people don’t mind being transparent, and they don’t feel judged.
It’s possible, and we are closer to it than we think.